My guide to recording your parent's life story
Why you should record those stories
I am a huge believer in recording life stories, of course, I am. It’s what I do, it’s what I love to do.
I love working with storytellers to capture the stories and equally love speaking to the families and hearing why those stories are important to them, and how they feel hearing them recorded. It is a joy.
So I urge EVERYONE to try it, to record their own family’s stories and to help you I will share my method for you to use with your parents to record their life stories.
I have developed a simple method of capturing stories that not only allow the storyteller to tell their story, in their words but also to enjoy the process, to really enjoy the process, to find it life-affirming and validating for the storyteller and also, a gift to the family; a gift that you may enjoy now or keep for a particular moment in the future.
There are many ways to record a life story, but this is my tried and tested method. The method I have developed to not only capture the great life stories that make my storytellers proud, but also their characters; voices, humour, mannerisms, and more for their friends and families to cherish.
Before I start to explain the processes further, there is one important thing to say. It is better to record something than nothing. So many times people tell me how they regret not recording parents or grandparents and how they would love a recording of their voices and their stories, but once it has gone it has gone. In my honest opinion, it is better to capture something of a story, of a voice of a person's life than nothing at all.
Many years ago, a friend of mine wanted to record her mum’s stories. She finally had the whole thing agreed and a date and a time planned. However, life got in the way, family demands meant they did not get the quiet moment together that they had anticipated. Not to be defeated, my friend carried on and recorded her mother as they were driving down the M4 together. This may not sound ideal and the sound quality is probably not the best, however, we all know that sometimes car journeys encourage frank and open conversations so maybe for this family this was the best way to do it, but a mother has told her life story, its been recorded and maybe that’s enough.
So, that said, let me take you through my method.
Step One The Invitation - How to ask your parents to tell their stories.
For some this is super simple, many parents can’t wait for an invitation to share their story and will be delighted to have been asked. If this is you, please skip straight on to Step Two.
For other families, asking parents to record their story can be the hardest part of the whole process, there are many reasons why a parent may feel anxious, or not wish to share their story. I have written other blog posts on this subject, so do check those out, but here are a couple of simple tips to encourage a slightly reluctant storyteller.
Explain that this is actually something for you/ for your family/ for future generations, so it is really a favour to you, rather than about them.
Reassure them that the process will be super easy for them as well as fun. They just answer questions, and if there are questions or topics they don’t wish to discuss they can be avoided.
Stage Two Preparation for a life story interview
As with so much in life, good preparation leads to a good final product. So before you start you will probably need a conversation or two with your parent. These discussions not only clarify how you are going to run your project but will also hopefully get your parent enthused and thinking about stories they may like to share. So, here is what I always discuss before I start a new project:
Who the recording is for, who will listen to it and who will have access to it. Do make sure you have consent before you start and ideally in writing.
Confirm if the storyteller would like to listen back to the recording before it is shared.
Consider which topics you will be covering. Find out what your storyteller is happy to discuss; their childhood, their family history, their career, relationships, etc, and just as important if there are some areas in their lives that they know they will not want to discuss etc.
Discuss how, when, and where you are going to be doing the recording.
Timing, you may already have a clue as to how long you may wish to spend recording your storyteller, and the length of time is dependent on many factors, but it’s often helpful to know in advance if you are trying to record everything in one day, or if there is room to come back a second time so that you can make sure to record all the important sections.
As part of your preparation, you will need to decide what recording equipment you will use. I use a professional audio recorder, but these days we all have the ability to record very good-quality sound on our phones, and so why not. Depending on your phone, or iPad there are any number of apps that will do this. Before you start I would urge you to do some checks and tests and make sure you are confident to use it and check you have sufficient batteries and storage.
Stage three Recording the life story interview
You have done all your preparation you know what you are going to talk about, where, when, and how. You have made sure that everyone is comfortable, and that your recording app is turned on. Now really it is up to you to ask questions and use prompts to help them to share their story. The aim is to encourage your parent to share a memory, a thought, or a feeling in such a way that takes you to the moment, the place, or the memory that they are describing, to really paint a picture as much as possible and to use all their senses in the description. Use open questions, maybe questions that start: ‘How did you feel about ...’
‘Can you describe that moment/place / person/ event?’
The single most important thing you can do to encourage your storyteller to open up and to tell their story is to not only listen but to show your storyteller you are listening and show that you are interested in what they have to say.
If it is helpful, then please download my guide - nine brilliant questions to ask your parents.
Stage four After the interview
First things first, save the stories!
Immediately after the interview I name and save my recordings and even duplicate them. From then you can decide whether you are going to edit the file or leave it as it is. Editing may take some time, but again, we now have fantastic tech to hand on our phones, it’s not as impossible as it once was. moreover, it can always be done at a later date.
How The Story Keepers can help
Recording your parent’s stories can be enlightening, fun, and hugely rewarding, however, it is not for everyone. It takes time, time to plan, record and to edit, it can also be awkward and for some families, it is less restrictive to share stories from someone else. if this is you then we can help, we can do the work, leaving you and your family with a professional recording to cherish, share and enjoy. To find out how The Story Keepers can help with your project contact us today alice@thestorykeepers.co.uk or sign up for our newsletter for further advice and ideas.