'They wouldn’t be interested.’

'They wouldn’t be interested.’

‘I think it's down to the listening.  The quality of your listening is such that people want to talk, to tell you their stories to share their memories.’ Janice G, Living Well Team Manager

I did a short presentation for staff involved in running activities at care homes today. I was talking about my story-gathering workshops, when Janice, for whom I have run a lot of workshops said this!

I know I am bragging, but to be honest, it just feels good to have found something that I am good at. I also do know that it's not really rocket science, and everyone can, with a bit of thought and a bit of practice do it.

Just to backtrack. I run story-gathering workshops. We chose a theme such as childhood, school days, hobbies, and the future and we share stories. I ask questions and use gentle prompts to encourage people to share any stories, memories, thoughts or feelings that they feel comfortable sharing. These workshops are all about being listened to, being heard, and finding similarities, commonalities and differences, rather than recording memories for others.

Last week, I ran a workshop where the participants, all in their 90s, shared memories of going to dances, dances and more dances, walking home during blackouts, and meeting handsome husbands.

I asked if their families had heard their stories. ‘They wouldn’t be interested.’ said one lady. Now, you all know that I love listening to their stories, I love imagining the sounds, smells sites, the people, the places and the journeys they describe. I feel that I have been taken back to their corner of 1940s London, and that is rather wonderful. So I found this comment so sad.

I guess it is possible that the family is not interested. But, I think it is just as likely that their family just doesn’t know how to ask, or maybe they haven’t been given the chance to listen to these memories.

If you have even the smallest inkling that someone in your family may like to share a story, ask (and then remember to listen up!) Or ... ask me and I can help. Or send me a message alice@thestorykeepers.co.uk and I will send you a draft copy of my upcoming letter/download ‘How to ask your parents to share their stories and Memories’. Catchy title eh!